Having been single the last ten years of life
Has given me lots of time to think what makes a good wife.
So after a lot of deliberation, concentration, and consternation
I've been able to create this fabrication
Aided in part by a vivid imagination.
I've decided it comes down to just one factor-
A really good wife is like your best tractor.
Oh, there were things that were obvious to me
Like maintenance, cost, and reliability.
And here's one that really makes sense-
So listen up you single gents
And consider this a fair warning:
Is she easy to start on a January morning?
"Oh, and what about HER feelings?" you say.
"Is this another time when the man gets HIS way?"
Well, I know it's not easy loving a guy like me
Who's awfully fond of his machinery.
And I've been known to choke back a tear
When talking about my favorite 4010 John Deere.
Or when I see a model U Minneapolis-Moline
I say, "Ain't she a beaut? A real prairie queen."
And in my combine, that big old bruiser,
I'm on top of the world in my Corn-Country-Cruiser.
And now after spending time to know each other better
Suzzanne and I will build a life together.
We'll have the best wedding our friends have ever seen.
Our colors will be Farmall red and John Deere green.
And after the ceremony, while the church is still full,
Out in the parking lot we'll have a tractor pull.
I know the pullers will enjoy their ride
As the flagging will be done by my blushing bride.
Then through the years my love for her will grow
As she gets 3 hydraulic valves and a dual PTO.
And then my love for her will become even larger
When she tells me that she now has a turbocharger.
So of the future Suzzanne will have no fear.
I will call her Minnie-Mo and she can call me John, dear.